Memoirs of a Teenage Feminist
by DramaticStarlet
Summary: Property of Caitlyn Jo Gellar. Steal me and you die. :D NateCaitlyn. Completed!
1. My Life Sucks

Caitlyn's Diary.  
:)

**Chapter One:**  
My Life Sucks

**Entry One:** December 7th, 2008

DAD: "Cait, we have exciting news for you!"

ME: "Really? We're moving to Hawaii?"

MOM: "No, sweetie. We're buying a cruise ship!"

That, my friends, is how I ended up on a cruise ship called the Anne-Margret in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a bunch of strangers wearing very questionable choices in outer wear (i.e., plaid shorts, Hawaiian shirts).

If you want the honest truth, I was actually really excited about getting on the Anne-Margret at first. My older sister and I would be home-schooled, which meant no more sexist public school (why girls can't join the football team as starting quarterback is something I will NEVER understand) – just the Pacific Ocean, blue skies, and a cute boy occasionally.

I WAS WRONG.

Way wrong. Major wrongness occurred.

The Anne-Margret is something like 9847675967 years old. The skies are blue – yes – but most of my day is spent inside, in my sister and I's quarters, listening to our 5,000 year old tutor try to teach me about Shakespeare, Algebra, and the structure of mitochondria and my sister about some other crap that we will never use AGAIN.

My parents must have been hopped up on something – I don't want to say crack, but I definitely want to say CRACK! – when they hired this lady.

Oh yes, and the only cute boy I've seen in a span of three months is a skater guy named Alek, and he came with his evil girlfriend Lindsey with an E. No, really, that's how she introduced herself. "Hi, my name's Lindsey with an E!"

After spending about five minutes listening to her bash virtually everything on the ship, I had a new name for her – Witch with a B.

So you can see why I've obviously considered, many, many times, jumping off of the ship and just putting myself out of my misery.

My sister, Celeste, just loooooves being on this ship.

"OMG, Cait, like, OMG, like, how you can you, like, NOT LOOOOOVE, being on this ship! Like OMG, IT'S SO PRETTY! Aah, OMG, srsly."

Alright, those weren't her **exact **words, but close enough. There were a lot of "OMGs" and "likes" in the sentence, that's what I remember.

I think even sexist, unfair public school would be more fun. I mean, to think we moved just as guys were starting to look at me as more than the weird feminist girl who spends way too much time on her laptop...

That's the one good thing about living on a cruise ship. I get a lot of opportunities to show off my rockin' producing skills!

After my tutor (her name is Mrs. Kelly, but Celeste and I call her Dragon) goes back to her room, I go up to Celeste and I's room and for the rest of the night, I sit, and I make remixes. And I think about my best friend, Mitchie Torres, and what she's doing (I should give her a call, but we get like NO reception on the boat). And I think about how when I'm older I'm going to be part of the ten percent of producers in the music biz that are actually female.

Mostly I just think about...ahh, even though I HATE it, I mostly think about this **boy**.

Okay, I do NOT get crushes. No really, I never get crushes. And the moment I saw this boy it was like we were the only two people in the room, and it was so crazy.

See, three or four years ago, this crush wouldn't haven't been a problem. I mean, at the time, this boy was just another kid with a dream at a little place called Camp Rock. Like me.

I had the biggest crush on him. Seriously, I used to stare at him during classes.

Give me a break, I was eleven! My self-restraint was very minimal!

And once in a while I used to catch him staring at me, too, but we didn't ever say anything. Because first of all, I was friends with Tess Tyler that summer and being the total witch that she is, she told me that this boy was a stupid loser who couldn't sing for crap.

Hahahahaha, joke's on Tess, because now the boy is a huge rockstar.

Anyway, yeah. Nothing happened, and by the next summer, him and his brothers had been "discovered" and that was that.

See, I never thought I'd see the guy again, which was good, because he being around him wrecked serious hell on my sanity.

Until this summer.

After Final Jam we hit it off again, when he came back to Camp Rock for a little while this summer, and we held hands, and now I don't know what I'm doing anymore!

Seriously, kids, don't hold hands with a boy until marriage. It's safer to wait.

Or use protection and wear wool gloves. Holding hands is NOT. SAFE.

I can't even imagine what kissing must be like.

Tonight at dinner, Celeste threatened that SHE would give me my first kiss if I didn't find a boyfriend soon...

--

"Mom, are we docking the boat for Christmas?"

The conversation started out quite innocently, with me asking my parents a simple question.

"No, we're spending Christmas on here. Pass the salad, please," my mom replied nonchalantly as I handed her the bowl of Caesar salad.

"Dad, Mom, you can't be serious. I want to see Mitchie really badly, and the only way I can do that is if you let me get off this God forsaken ship," I insisted.

"No, Cai, you just want to go to Mitchie's house so you can see Nate there," Celeste said.

I really wish that someone would Super Glue her mouth shut.

"First of all, Celeste, no one asked you and second, I actually want to see my best friend," I rolled my eyes.

"Like, whatever, Cai! You're so desperate for your first kiss, and all you talk about in your sleep is that Nate kid macking on you."

"Girls, please, stop," Dad sighed, rubbing his temples.

"No, like Cai is how old – fifteen – and she's waiting for one guy guy, and it's just like – _God. _Srsly, _I _will give Caitlyn her first kiss if it makes her _shut up_," Celeste said, authoritatively spearing a piece of lasagna.

Random fact: "Celeste" sounds like "incest".

"Just because I don't whore myself out to every guy I see doesn't mean I couldn't get kissed!" I replied hotly...and that was pretty much the last straw.

"Caitlyn Jo!" Mom cried, but Celeste had basically started Hurricane Caitlyn.

"_No_, Mom! I'm sick and tired of Celeste always making snarky comments about me! All I frickin' want is to see my best friend at Christmas – what the HELL is wrong with that?! IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL! God!"

My nostrils flared and my eyes narrowed, and I probably looked pretty unattractive at the moment, but who cares about being pretty when you're trying to make a point (other than Celeste, of course, who wore a halter dress and her stacked corkies for a job interview at Dairy Queen)?

Mom's eyes bugged.

Dad looked thoughtful.

"Alright, Caits. You can go see Mitchie and her family over Christmas break for a couple weeks..." Dad began.

"Really?" I brightened, eyes widening again.

"BUT..."

"But?"

"But you have to spend more time with Celeste when you get back," Dad finished.

I looked over at Celeste, who was giving me her signature pout, and sighed.

"Fine."

"Good! E-mail Mitchie and we'll set something up. Now eat your meal," Dad grinned.

--

And I was pretty happy to know that I'd be spending Christmas with Mitchie.

Until now.

When it hit me that I have to spend time with Incest.

Er, Celeste.

--

**Entry Two: **December 8th, 2008

_Copy of Mitchie's e-mail to me:_

_**To: **  
**From: **  
**Subject: **Re: Guess what?_

_Caitlyn Jo!_

_Oh my gosh, I'm so happy you're getting off that ship! :) My dad and mom said it was totally cool if you stayed with us for a week or two._

_The only thing is that my cousin Landon is staying with us while his parents are in Aruba, but he'll most likely be out a lot. He thinks my parents are totally lame (can you tell my eyes are rolling?)._

_Oh, and Shane and Nate and Jason and their mom and dad are coming, but you and Nate are like best friends, so I figured you wouldn't mind if Shane and I went off for a little bit. To talk, I mean, because I know what you're thinking right now, and I don't mean to do THAT._

_(: E-mail me with the rest of the deets._

_Love,  
Michelle Elizabeth_

Mitchie's crazy. Not really, I'm crazier than her. Seriously, I'm off-the-wall crazy. I eat unwashed fruit. I know, pretty insane.

But yeah, my entire day was spent badgering my parents for more information, to which they always responded with: "Not now, Caits, wait until tonight."

You see, my parents never specified what _time _tonight, because Calvin and Christie Gellar like being annoyingly vague.

For example, I asked when we were getting the puppy they'd promised me and my sister.

My dad said, "Soon."

But it's been three years and I still haven't received said puppy.

(Although, in this case, I think "Soon" meant, "In your effing dreams, kid.")

...

Okay, so I JUST asked and apparently I don't get to get off the Hell Express – er, Anne-Marget – until the fourteenth.

And that's another six days! (insert wail of agony here)

That was honestly the biggest buzz kill.

Six DAYS.

Six more days with Incest and Dragon and my insane, vague parents.

But I get two weeks – two glorious weeks. :D I'm not a big emoticon smiley kind of girl, but that was definitely an emoticon moment.

Alright, my heartrate is kind of accelerating right now, so I'm going to tell you a little more about Incest.

Her full name is Celeste Antoinette Gellar. She gets the classy name, while I get Caitlyn Jo, which most of my relatives shorten to Caity Jo, and that honestly sounds like some bad rip-off of Billie Jean.

She's seventeen, two years older than me, but she acts like/dresses like/wishes she was twenty-one.

We look a lot alike, but she dresses like a total hooker.

She loves Hannah Montana, Jesse McCartney, and shopping and make-up and..._blechh_. Her and Tess Tyler (who is also a complete whoremonger) would get along perfect, because not only do they like the same things, but they ACT the same.

And she always has to one-up me!

When I go to Camp Rock, she goes to New York City with my aunt and spends the entire summer in a penthouse buying clothes, going to the hottest concerts, and having flings with random guy sluts.

I love going to Camp Rock, but...ugh.

And she got to pick out the decor for our room.

So now our room is a bunch of pink crap, not green like I wanted.

She -

Oh. My. God.

Since I'm going to Mitchie's for Christmas, Incest gets to go to Paris with my aunt for Spring Break.

She better sleeping with one eye open and a knife under her pillow, because I know where she sleeps at night.

--

**Katie Says: **(: So what's the verdict? This is my second chaptered fic, and I'm REALLY excited about it, because...yeah. I don't know. (x

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me what you think. I'd really appreciate feedback for this particular fic. Pictures of the cast will be available on my profile, in case you're interested. :3

Oh, and as always, **review with more than "so funny/cute," "i loved it," or "update soon" because if you review with that stuff Katie Lynn will pull her hair out, and no one wants that. :D**


	2. Is There A God?

Caitlyn's Diary.  
:)

**Chapter Two:  
**Is There A God?

**Entry Three: **December 11th, 2008

_Trip Details:_

-On Thursday night (the 13th), we're going to start heading back to the mainland.

-It'll take 3-4 hours to get back to the Santa Barbara dock (as in Santa Barbara, CA).

-When we get there, I get to fly on a commercial airplane (UGH! Commercial airlines are such frauds!) to Mitchie's house in Salinas.

-I'll get to Mitchie's at about 9 in the morning, when she's still at school. D: (Emoticon moment)

I cannot WAIT to get off this ship!

Dragon gave me my Algebra final. It was epic fail.

I'm not kidding, all of the questions were like:

k – 5 squared + grapes/kiwis cubed. How many kiwis did Marcia have?

Dragon has no freaking idea what she's teaching, I swear. She once confused addition and subtraction. WHO DOES THAT?!

I hate Dragon.

Ah, crap, someone's IMing me.

BRB.

Haha, get it? IM speak?

Yeah, I'm just gonna...stop now.

...

Let's jump fifteen minutes.

...

Oh. Hellament.

Nathaniel Gray just I.M.ed me.

!

This is disaster.

_IM Conversation transcript:_

**NG1992:** Hey, Caitlyn

**cait.the.gr8:** Uh, hey? Who r u?

**NG1992:** Your best friend Nate

**cait.the.gr8:** Hey Nate. My best friend? Hmm, I don't know, I think that prestigious position belongs to Mitchie. And how'd u get my e-mail

**NG1992:** Shane gave it to me. I hope that's ok. (And yes, I am your way best friend. I'm way cooler than Mitchie)

**cait.the.gr8:** Hahahaha. No. What's up, Curly?

**NG1992:** Oh, not much. What about you homeskillet

**cait.the.gr8:** lol, ok, who told you to say that? The Nate Gray I know wouldn't combine home and skillet if his life depended on it

**NG1992:** My cousin told me to say it. Jason's on the phone with her

**cait.the.gr8: **Interesting...lol alright, I hate to be off-topic, but u have the most boring e-mail address EVER

**NG1992:** Ur just jealous of the simplistic beauty of my screenname, Cait. admit it, it's ok to be jealous of me. I know ur also jealous of my hair

**cait.the.gr8:** Yeah, definitely, so jealous...(cough)

**NG1992:** Hahaha, ur so funny NOT

**cait.the.gr8:** Aw, Nate, you know I love you and your boring screenname and your fro

**NG1992:** Thanks, Caity, love you too. And your absolutely hysterical sarcasm

**cait.the.gr8:** That's the spirit, Nathaniel! :D

**NG1992:** Emoticon moment, hm?

**cait.the.gr8:** Oh, for def

**NG1992:** Crap, I g2g, but I can't wait to see u at Mitchie's

**cait.the.gr8:** How'd u know about that?

**NG1992 has logged off.**

(insert headdesk here)

How did he know about me going to Mitchie's house?

I mean, I haven't exactly _talked _to Nate in something like...three months? Four months?

That child bothers me...

Wait a minute. Mitchie probably told Shane, who told Jason, who told Nate, because we all know Shane has to tell his brothers EVERYTHING. It's like a code between them.

Codes are so overrated.

--

**Entry Four: **December 12th, 2008

Is there a God?

Because if there is, why isn't he speeding up time or something?

Celeste spent an hour this morning complaining about how ugly she is, even though she's gorgeous and knows it.

Then Dragon put questions on my English test about things we didn't even cover.

You know what, I don't even have the patience to write in this thing, or be funny or witty.

Goodbye, I'm going to go smother myself with Celeste's High School Musical pillow.

Death by Zac Efron.

What a world.

--

**Entry Five: **December 14th, 2008

I am _officially _at Mitchie's house! I can't believe it. I made it six days without murdering Celeste or smothering myself with her HSM pillow (though I came dangerously close – I had it over my head and everything, but Celeste walked in and thought I was making out with it, so I had to stop).

Seriously, though, when I first got here it was really boring. Steve and Connie were at work, and Mitchie was still at school, so I just sat in Mitchie's room for a while and scribbled on a picture of the Jonas Brothers.

They're such Connect Three wannabes.

And _Jonas Brothers_? I can just imagine how they came up with that name.

**Kevin:** So what should we name our new band?

**Joe:** Oh, dude, we should name it something really out there and crazy...like...the Jonas Brothers!

**Nick:** Man, how'd you come you come up with that? It's fricking off the chain!

**Joe:** I don't know bro, it just..._spoke to me_.

Okay, that's enough Jonas bashing. The youngest one is sexy.

So yes, I sat in Mitchie's room and put purple mustaches and blue dots on the Jonas Brothers for forever. And then I colored their skin orange and their hair green and they looked like Oompa Loompas with chicken pox.

When Mitchie got in we were just spazzing like crazy, yelling and hugging and Mitchie cried and that was pretty much it.

The only bad part was when her delinquent of a cousin showed up. Things kind of just went downhill from there...

--

Mitchie and I were in her room, catching up, chatting about music and school and how lame our teachers are when this guy with blonde hair and blue eyes – NOTHING like Mitchie and her parents – waltzes in wearing a leather jacket and _smoking_.

"Hey, M, who's your friend?" he smirked at me.

"Landon, kindly wipe that smirk off your face and get out of my room," Mitchie crossed her arms, glaring. It was probably the meanest look I'd ever seen Mitchie give someone.

"Aw, Mitchie, don't be like that. I just wanna know who your friend is," he grinned a little wider, and you could just see that he was enjoying this immensely.

"I'm Caitlyn Gellar," I tried to ease the tension a little.

"I'm Landon West," the guy, now formally introduced to me as Landon West, said, holding out the hand he wasn't smoking with.

I shook it firmly as I looked into his deep blue eyes. This guy was a jerk, but he was a really good-looking jerk and that's the worst kind.

"Oh, you're Mitchie's cousin," I said, remember the e-mail she sent me.

"Woo, we're all introduced. Can you leave now Landon?" Mitchie said impatiently.

"I - "

"_Get out, Landon_," my best friend said darkly.

Landon just winked at me, took another lazy drag of his cigarette, and sauntered out of the room, one hand in his back pocket. He knew he was hot. I hate people like that.

"Ugh, what's _his _problem?" I rolled my eyes, turning to Mitchie.

"Landon's my mom's older sister Delilah's son, from her first marriage. He's sixteen. That's all you need and/or want to know," Mitchie sighed as she changed the song that was playing on her iPod.

"What a jerk."

"Totally."

"So anyways, I talked to Shane today! Him and Nate and Jason finished recording their new album sooner than they thought, so they'll be coming with their parents _in two days_!" Mitchie smiled excitedly.

"Two DAYS?"

I think this is the point where I start to freak out a little bit, because the only people who know about my crush on Nate are me and Celeste. I would tell Mitchie, but she might tell Shane and no one wants that to happen.

"Yeah, is that okay?" Mitchie frowned.

I pasted on a fake smile; "Er, yeah, why wouldn't it be? Are they staying here or..."

"Ha, are you kidding? Me and my boyfriend in the same house? My dad would NOT go for that. No, they're staying with their aunt and uncle and cousins. I'm so excited, I haven't seen Shane since last month. All we've had are long distance phone calls, and I'm pretty sure my parents aren't liking my cell phone bill, as of the late..." Mitchie blushed.

I tried to laugh, but I think the sound that came out was something like a dying cat.

Dying cats are generally not attractive.

--

**Katie Says: **(: You guys, like the Jonas Brothers band name, are fricking off the chain. 16 reviews for the first chapter? Like WOW.

So yeah, tell me whatchu thought of the second chapter, mmkay?

And – I have to put it, because some people need to be reminded – **please review with more than "so cute/so funny" or "i loved it," or else I will throw plastic sporks at you. :p**


	3. Cheetahlicious!

Caitlyn's Diary.  
:)

**Chapter Three:  
**Cheetahlicious!

**Entry Six: **December 15th, 2008

'Tis eleven at night.

Mitchie had to go to school again today, so she was exhausted when she got home. From the Winter Break festivities.

Oh wow that sounded kinda dirty...or maybe I'm just a perv. We've go with the second one.

So basically, I was so bored today that I watched all three Cheetah Girls movies. IN A ROW. God, it was like...eating pig guts.

I _really _hate the Cheetah Girls.

I mean, "cheetahlicious" is not an adjective! How pretentious do you have to be to come up with your own adjective? It's like...me going around and saying, "Wow, that's so Caitlyntastic!"

Sheesh.

In all seriousness, I'm really nervous. Because Nathaniel James Gray will be here in thirteen hours. You don't even how nervous I've been all week. And Mitchie's all "Are you okay?" and I'm all, "Yeah, I'm peachy!" and Mitchie's all, "...yeahh, okay then..." and it's weird.

OH. MY. EFFING. GOD.

Okay, Landon (the delinquent) is blasting this God awful rock music, and I'm flipping bleeding from the ears.

...oh, crap, Mitchie's waking up.

...

AHAHAHA.

**Mitchie:** LANDON, TURN THE DAMN MUSIC OFF OR SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

(x Emoticon moment.

Landon turned his crappy wannabe whiny rock off.

Snaps for Mitch and Cait, biatch.

...holy crow, I'm a freak at night.

--

**Entry Seven: **December 16th, 2008

It's noon.

They aren't here.

See, they're in New York right now and their flight got delayed because of some stupid snowstorm or whatever, and I'm ticked, because it could be another twenty-four hours before they get here.

Mitchie's really sad. I feel so bad for her, she was almost in tears when Shane called and told her the news.

And – WAIT.

Okay, did you know that Jason and Shane and Nate have a younger brother? Because they do! Apparently Mitchie has known this forever, but I was not informed.

His name is Ike, and he's seven. How crazy is that?

Ironic coincidence: the Jonas Brothers have a younger brother, too. So weird.

I love little kids. A lot of people think, "Caitlyn is such a bitter witch, she probably punches babies like the evil baby puncher she is."

I do not, in fact, punch babies. I love babies. Emoticon moment: :3.

...

:D :D :D :D :D

!!

THEIR FLIGHT ISN'T DELAYED ANYMORE!!

They're going to get here at like 3:00. I'm flipping out, I was really nervous earlier, but now I'm just stoked. Aside from getting to see Nate, I also get to see Jason and Shane.

Jason is just...gahh. Hilarious. That kid can keep me rolling for hours.

And then Shane. We exchange witty, insulting banter. 'Tis very fun for me. 'Cause I'm the wittiest chick from her to Wichita. Get it? Witty? Wichita? ...I'm gonna stop.

Oh, and now I get to meet Ike.

Not to be mean, but who – in this day and age – names their poor child _Ike_? It sounds like some waffle house in Hoboken, New Jersey...

Ike's Waffle House!

I wonder if the kid likes waffles? But really, who DOESN'T like waffles? Who in their right mind would actually dispute the deliciousness of waffles (and other breakfast pastry items drenched in butter and syrup)??

Oh frack, Landon's home. He went to buy more cigarettes. My eyes are rolling, by the way.

Mitch and Landon just started talking...crap...

**Landon:** Hey, M. What's with the goofy smile plastered on your face?

**Mitchie:** (ignores him)

**Landon:** _Mitchie_.

**Me:** ...so how 'bout them Yankees?

**Landon:** A, the Yankees suck, and B, why is Mitchie being a bitch already?

**Me:** (is offended, because the Yankees are love)

**Mitchie:** No one like you, Landon, get away from me. You smell like smoke and prostitutes.

Oh snap. She went there.

I'm done writing for right now. This is like watching Jerry Springer. Without the whole chair throwing and bleeped out phrases (i.e. "STFU, you nasty BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEPER!")

--

**Entry Eight: **December 17th, 2008

Okay, well.

The Gray people got here yesterday around...5-ish.

Here's my recollection of how it all went...

--

Jason, Shane, Nate, their parents, and their brother burst through the door, still wearing winter coats and hats.

"SHANE!" Mitchie screamed (very loudly) and barreled toward her boyfriend. Shane welcomed her with open arms, and a collective "Aww" resounded.

I sort of stood to the side and watched the boys and their parents greet Mitchie. She was crying, and I felt so happy for her, because she'd been waiting forever to see Shane again.

In the midst of all the welcoming, I felt something tugging on my hand.

When I looked down, I saw a boy standing there and looking at me with these adorable brown eyes.

"Hi," I smiled, waving a little.

"Who are you?" his forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"I'm Caitlyn. I'm Mitchie's best friend."

"Caitlyn? I do – oh wait, Nate talks about you lots! I think he likes you or sommin, but everytime I ask him about it he tells me to shut up," the kid (presumably Ike) said.

At this, I smiled a little. And I may or may not have turned some unnatural shade of red that made me look like I'd suddenly contracted the Black Plague.

"I'm Isaac Gray, but you can call me Ike, 'cause that's what everyone else calls me," he smiled a toothy grin.

"It's nice to meet you, Ike," I held out my hand, and he looked at it weirdly before saying, "Do you want me to kiss it?"

Before I could respond, I was completely bombarded by someone giving me a huge bear hug.

Of course.

"Hey Jase," I managed to choke out.

"Caity! I missed you! Guess what, I got you a really cool producer thingy for Christmas!" Jason cried.

"That's cool, but Jason, I sort of _can't breathe_."

That's the funny thing about Jason. He's always so excited that he kind of forgets his common sense. Usually it's endearing, but not when you're about to go into respiratory arrest.

"Oh! Sorry!" he immediately let go.

"Cait, how's it going?" Shane smiled at me when I finally started to breathe normally.

"Good. How was the recording?" I asked, giving him a friendly hug.

"Eh. Boring."

"_Boring_? Recording your first album with your own, brand-new sound was _boring_? Wow, Shane," I laughed.

"Everything's boring if I can't share it with Mitchie," he said, looking at Mitchie with stars in his eyes.

Mitchie blushed.

I was officially forgotten.

"I can tell we won't be seeing much of those two for the next couple of weeks," _he _grumbled.

_Him._

_Nate._

"Hey Nate," I grinned.

"Caitlyn. Hey," he smiled and wrapped his arms around me. We hugged for a second too long before breaking apart. I already missed being in his arms.

(And I am so screwed if this crush doesn't magically disappear.)

"Did you miss me?" I asked.

He blushed.

I kind of took that as a yes.

--

**Katie Says: **Short chapter. ): When I wrote this it seemed longer. Oh welllll.

So yeah, dudes, I have this entire story written. 'Cause I'm just cool like that.

**And if you review with "so cute/so funny," or "i loved it," I'll send Lindsay Lohan after you! And who wants that?! **

BTW, pics of the cast are now on my profile. :3


	4. Grill My Cheese

Caitlyn's Diary.  
:)

**Chapter Four:  
**Grill My Cheese

**Entry Nine: **December 18th, 2008

Eh. Blah.

Today's been boring. Yesterday Mitchie and I went bowling (don't laugh!) with Shane and Nate after dinner, which was really fun. Nate and I _domi_-fricki-_nated_.

But only because Shane and Mitchie were too busy making googly eyes with one another to pay attention. They're like everything cliché I've ever heard EVER...but they aren't the annoying cliché couple...am I rambling? I think I'm rambling.

Anyway. Yeah. Today. Boring.

Jason, Shane, and Nate had an appointment with Disney Channel about some promotional thing. They said we could come and scope out some teeny bopper celebrities. As tempting as the chance to meet Zac Gayfron – err, Efron – was, I passed.

So I spent today doing nothing.

Until Shane and Nate invited me and Mitchie to the movies. Drive-in movies. That's where we are right now. Mitchie picked some weird comedy.

Ahem, just for further documentation, Mitchie is NOT watching the movie.

She's a little preoccupied by SHANE EATING HER FACE. You'd _think _they'd break apart to breathe every so often, but apprently they know how to breathe through their ears.

Teddy Geiger's in this movie.

Man, he. Is. Hot.

Guys Who Can Grill My Cheese:  
-Dougie Poynter from McFly. I'd be his Star Girl ANY day.

-Michael Cera. Total dork, but I love him.

-Nick Jonas. As much as I loathe the Jonas Brothers and their obsessive compulsive fangirls, Nick J is most definitely off the chain (could I get _any _cheesier right now?). Kthxbai.

-Teddy Gei

**Writing notes, Cait?**

NATE! Er, what??

**I wanted to see what you're writing.**

Yay, you've seen it. WATCH THE MOVIE.

**Guys who can grill your cheese? Do I even WANT to know?**

I can explain!

**NICK JONAS?! Caitlyn, he's such a pansy!**

Is someone a little jealous, Nathaniel?

**No, but...Nick Jonas? You can do so much better than that guy. Plus, have you seen how him and his brothers dress? Extremely questionable choices in outer wear, don't you think?**

I think he's sexy.

**You thought Shane was sexy, Cait.**

When I was eleven! It was a momentary lapse in judgement!

**Sure, Cait. Wow, this movie is awful.**

I agree.

**You want to blow this popsicle stand?**

Um, HELL YEAH. But we have Smitchie in the car. Aren't they gonna be mad if we blow off the movie?

**They've been attached at the lips for an hour. I highly doubt they'll notice if we blow this place off and head for greener pastures.**

Did you just really just say "greener pastures"?

**I'll give you five bucks to shut up.**

...done.

--

**Entry Ten: **December 19th, 2008

Oh my

oh my

My hand is shaking. Ow ow ow, and my chest is constricting and it's flipping hot.

I'm just gonna come right out and say it...

LANDON EFFING KISSED ME.

AND MITCHIE SAW IT.

Head. Desk.

I guess it sort of went like this...

--

"Hey Caitlyn," Landon walked into Mitchie's room, smelling like those awful cigarettes he smokes.

"Deliquent," I rolled my eyes.

"So, Caity. Can I call you Caity? I'll call you Caity. Yeah, I was thinking that you and me could go out," he smirked as he fingered a picture on Mitchie's dresser.

"Hahahaha, that's hilarious. Seriously, you're great," I said in monotone, because we all know I don't date guys with a brain the size of an amoeba.

And Landon is a complete tool! Grr, I hate him sorry. Sorry, got off topic...

"Caitlyn, I'm being serious. I'd like to take you out tonight. See a movie. Get a burger."

"And I'm being seriously when I say no. Now leave me alone."

"But Cait - "

"No, Landon. I don't date skeevy players."

"But you'll date a baby-faced pop icon who's on tour for half of the year?" he bit back harshly.

"Excuse me?"

"Your little crush on that Nate kid is so obvious it's disgusting," Landon sneered.

Aw hellz naw.

So basically after that, we verbally jabbed each other for a few more minutes until all of a sudden Landon KISSED me. I doubt it could really be called a kiss, though, more like...sexual assault...

His lips moved awkwardly against, and it was kind of like kissing a squid. Even his lips were slimy with saliva. It was just gross beyond belief...

"Hey Cait, can you get – oh my God!"

Oh.

Hellament.

"Mitchie!" I shouted, trying to get away from Landon's death grip.

"...umm...I'll...be going now," Mitchie looked horrified, Landon looked amused, and I'm not sure how I looked, but it was probably something like: D: or O.O".

Mitchie ran out, and I slapped Landon. And do you know what the freak did? He starting laughing! What kind of twisted sadist IS this kid??

"You're...ugh, if you EVER touch me again Landon West, I'll castrate you!" I yelled, and he just started laughing again.

I hate him. I hate him. I hate hate hate hate hate hate him.

--

**Entry Eleven: **December 20th, 2008

Shane Gray is dead. With a capital D.

Mitchie apparently told Shane about my "kiss," with Landon, and he told Nate! WTF, IS HE RETARDED?!

So now both Mitchie AND Nate are ignoring me! I'm going to scream, I swear. It wasn't even a KISS. It was like...being mauled by a bear! Or something equally violent and unpleasant!

I've been here like 6 days, and there's already drama. Not to be melodramatic or anything, but this kind of stuff _always _happens to me.

I have to explain this to everyone – I don't want Mitchie and Nate to be mad at me.

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate Landon? And Shane isn't on my good list right now...

LATER, SKATER:

I explained everything to Mitchie. She said she was sorry for jumping to conclusions, and then we hugged and then she grabbed a pair of scissors and went into the guest room. And she was mumbling something about giving Landon a little trim...

If Landon wasn't such a perverted manwhore, I might feel bad. But he is and I don't so nyah. XD

...damn it, I still have to explain everything to Nate, don't I?

_This _should be interesting...

Or scarring.

--

**Katie Says: **Another short chapter. ): I'm sorry, guys. Longer chapters will be coming soon!

Oh, by the way, I have nothing against Zac Efron. :p I find him quite handsome, actually. And him and V Hudgens are basically adorkable together. Okay, enough Zanessa spam.

**If you review with more than "so cute/funny," or "i loved it" or "ud soon!" I'll give you virtual cupcakes!**


	5. Poor Nathaniel

Caitlyn's Diary.  
:)

**Chapter Five:  
**Poor Nathaniel

**Entry Twelve: **December 21st, 2008

Well that was...awkward and embarrassing. Even more embarrassing than the time when I had nosemilk after Nate told this joke a few days ago...yes.

To what am I referring to, you ask?

...telling Nate...about...yeah.

--

When Shane and Nate came over today, I immediately pulled Nate aside. I just wanted to get it over with, to be honest.

"Nate, I need to talk to you," I said, masking my slight nervousness with confidence.

"Uhh," he responded in that clueless way that all men have perfected.

"So, you heard about the whole thing with Landon..."

"Yeah..."

"Okay, I just wanted to explain that Landon forced himself on me. I really, really have no romantic attraction to him – that's completely disgusting. But he has this stalker-ish crush on me and...yeah," I explained, wishing Nate would look me in the eyes (and tell me that he loves me! Haha, jk, Jonas Brothers moment!). Honestly, the boy can't make eye contact during awkward encounters with people.

Suddenly, Nate looked very relieved about something.

...to which I have no comment.

"So we're cool now?" I bit my lip slightly.

Nate smiled a little; "Yeah."

I smiled too, and we gave each other a friendly hug (and my heart did a weird flip-flop slide deal), and then it was over.

--

I guess I was expecting my kiss with Landon to spark some sort of wild, untamed jealousy in Nate, and then after I explained everything he'd tell me he was madly in love with me.

Clearly, that didn't happen.

Sigh. Blergh. Sigh.

Ah well. I'm just glad Nate isn't mad at me...

Oh my jeez.

Okay, I'm listening to Mitchie's iPod right now, and do you KNOW what song just came on?

"Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire".

...lololololol. x) – EMOTICON MOMENT.

_Just bite me baby and drink all my blood._

Hmm, what kind of freakish blackmail could I use this newfound knowledge for?

--

**Entry Thirteen: **December 23rd, 2008

So...

Since I've been at Mitchie's, I haven't bought ANY Christmas presents...and now it's three days before Xmas and I'm presentless. D:

Hmm...

Possible Ways To Earn Money For Presents:  
-occupy streetcorners late at night (...yeah, NO)  
-sell my kidneys on eBay (I think those are sort of important, though)  
-write the great American novel (YES...except that could take me a few days...or weeks...or centuries...)

This is hopeless! Hey, maybe I can find some loose moneys around Mitchie's house? :3

...

I found:

-a dime under Mitchie's bed  
-a dollar shoved behind the blender  
-Britney Spears' debut album underneath the sofa cushions (there was probably a good reason it was there)  
-a piece of moldy Jello-O (blechh) and a bowtie below the refrigerator

HOPELESS, I TELL YOU.

Hey, in the newspaper there's an ad about a poetry slam tonight! The person with the best poem wins 350 dollars!

_Bingo._

_Later-ish:_

Alright, maybe I was wrong. I had Nate read over my poem, and he started cackling like a hyena.

It's not that bad!

_Fly.  
High.  
Sky.  
Bye._

Short. Sweet. It's to the point, right? Sheesh, no one appreciates (insert jazz hands here) ART!

I'm so misunderstood! Ahh!

Kidding. (:

--

_**A documentation of the poetry slam tonight (written by Nate Gray):**_

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of doing, Caitlyn. You must be insane to want this documented forever.

So, right now, you're preparing your absolutely "brilliant" (cough) poem. Some weird girl wearing huge parachute pants and a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt is reading "An Ode To Pistachio Ice Cream".

_Oh pistachio ice cream  
Thy creamy, green treat..._

Wow. My appetite is officially gone.

Shane and Mitchie just went to "get some air". Because apparently the five people in this place are making them claustrophobic.

Yeah.

Right.

Honestly, Cait, why did you enter this thing? You hate poetry. Unless you need the prize money for something...like...Christmas presents...

Oh, I got your Christmas present. It's pretty cool. And there was only one left.

And no, I'm not telling you what it is.

And no, I won't tell you what it is for a cookie, five dollars, or an Oompa Loompa, as tempting as all of those things are.

Oh.

Jesus.

Some guy just walked onstage completely nude...this isn't awkward at all...

His poem:

_Upon feathered wings of steel,  
I fly to a safehouse, a pool of running lava,  
Burning through my withered, naked flesh._

Okay, this guy is really creepy. Pool of running lava? What the hell, how is that a safehouse? Burning through his withered, naked flesh?

Did this guy just pull some words out of the sky and turn them into a poem?

It's not the fact that he's naked that disturbs me most. It's the fact that he just rhymed "flesh" with "purple mesh".

No. You don't do that. Ever.

Shane and Mitchie are back from getting their air. Shane just shielded Mitchie's eyes. They're laughing. Nude guy glared at us. Can someone get this dude a toga or something?

**Shane:** Dude, Nate, what the hell is this?!

**Me:** I have no flipping idea, man.

**Mitchie:** Shane, can you get your hand off my face, please?

**Shane:** No. No way.

**Me:** She's sixteen, Shane.

**Shane:** So?

**Mitchie:** Shane Alexander Gray, move your hand or we won't get some air again.

**Shane:** (looks horrified, which makes me laugh, which makes Nude guy glare at us more).

Nude guy's parting couplet:

_Apocalyptic nonsense fills the unsuspecting brain,  
As a nymph lies upon the ground, butchered and slain._

I think that last line meant that he killed one of the Fairly Oddparents. Man, a cartoon character was murdered. Harsh.

Alright, FINALLY, you're up.

_Fly.  
High.  
Sky.  
Bye._

I can't believe you just said that in public. Was that even considered a poem? I mean, it was like...4 words that just HAPPEN to rhyme packed together.

Yes, I know, you're so misunderstood. Four-worded poetry is your life's mission.

Well guess what? I came up with my own poem!

_Orange._

Wasn't that BRILL? Simplistic, yet complicated.

Alright, this guy wearing a turtleneck and a beret is announcing the winners.

3rd Place – Pistachio ice cream chick (err, wow)

2nd Place – This one guy who ranted about how much he hated cats

1st Place – ...you

Haha, you're spazzing out right now. Congrats. You just won Amateur Poet Night at the Coffee Bean.

I'm done writing this stuff down. Hope you weren't expecting anything as great as your four-word peom.

**END.**

--

...Nate isn't always so apathetic/sarcastic/mean, I swear. I think Shane and Mitchie were annoying him. Poor Nathaniel.

But anyways.

HELLS YES I WON 350 SMACKERS.

...now I just need to figure out what to get everyone.

--

**Katie Says: **Hey ya'll.

Caitlyn's poem is from the book "This Place Has No Atmosphere" by the fantastic Paula Danziger, who is a WAYYY better writer than me. Seriously, check that chick out. Anything by her rocks my socks.

Sorry for the lack of stories lately. I was going to update over the weekend, but my account got suspended because some bitch reported me. Yeah, I was mad. (: I have a lot of oneshots waiting to be posted, though.

**And, just 'cause I feel obligated to say this, please review with more than "so cute/funny" or "i loved it" and or "ud soon!" or I may have to cry. ): **


	6. Have Yourself An Incestuous Little Xmas

Caitlyn's Diary.  
:)

**Chapter Six:  
**Have Yourself An Incestuous Little Christmas

**Entry Fourteen: **December 23rd, 2008

Sooo, Diary. Baby. Sweetheart.

Any ideas on what I should get for people?

I've had Mitchie's present for a while. A Jonas Brothers CD wrapped in Joe posters. :D That should make Shane mad. Lolololol.

Options for Boys:  
Jason – a birdhouse made of guitar picks? Uhh...we'll see.  
Shane – a talking head! Yeah, like the VOICE INSIDE HIS HEAD? God I'm hilarious, I crack myself up.  
Nate – my heart? Err...we'll come back to that.  
Ike – what do I get a 7-year-old? A pony? A Hannah Montana WAIT. How about laster tag tickets for him and his brothers! There's this really cheap (but nice) place like fifteen minutes from here. Yeahh.  
Landon – a sack of crap. No, wait! Nicotine gum. And I'll do him a favor and get rid of all his cigarettes. Haha, he'll be so pissed.

THIS IS HOPELESS.

Sorta.

I'm going to go.

To the mall.

Wish me...luck...

_laterish:_

I went to the mall! Emoticon moment: :D!!

So, I got Jason a bird feeder (I hope he likes it, it cost me 50 bucks...feeding birds ain't cheep! Get it? Cheep? ...wow that was lame...), Shane a talking head (lmfao I'm hilarious aren't I?) and an iPod cover, Ike those laser tag tickets, and I got Nate this effing HUGE dictionary, because he loves words.

Clever, I am. Did I just sound like Yoda?

Oh, and I got Landon some Nicorette gum. I figure I'll sneak into his room later and throw away his cigarettes.

Do you think

...

Mitchie just came in here. She was like, 'Caitlyn, can I talk to you about something?' and of I course I'm all, 'Sure' because she looked really upset.

So I asked her what was up, and apparently her and Shane's relationship has gotten really...heavy. Not like the heavy where you want to break up. I guess "serious" would be a better word.

Apparently they've been really testing their physical boundaries lately. And Mitchie says she wants to give Shane everything, but she really wants to wait until marriage to do..._that_.

So I was like, "Do you love him?"

And she said, "More than anything."

But see, Smitchie hasn't formally said "I love you" yet. So then I told her she should tell him how she really feels before they overstep their boundaries.

I'm glad that Mitchie has Shane, but to be honest, sometimes I'm really jealous of her.

She has a great voice, a gorgeous boyfriend (I can't deny it), she's on the way to getting a record deal...

And she's talking about having sex with Shane, while I still have yet to get my first kiss (the one with Landon does NOT count, kthx).

I'm behind, aren't I?

On the bright side, Nate and I are taking Ike to the zoo tonight. They're having this Christmas thing. (: Ike is so adorable, he's like a mini-Nate.

And no, I don't just want to go to the zoo with Ike because he insists we all hold hands.

...but I should wear wool gloves. Because premarital hand-holding with your crush can be deadly!

Deadly, I say.

--

**Entry Fifteen: **December 24th, 2008

IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE!

:DDDD

I'm so so so super excited. Or it could be all the sugar in the gingerbread men I ate that's making me hyper.

So yes.

Mitchie just asked me if I was high. I. Resent. That. I am not high! And I am, I'm high off of _life_! Wow...if that didn't make me sound like a stoner...

I don't know if I feel much like writing.

OH WAIT.

Before I forget!

The zoo was pretty fun last night. Except during this one part some guy dressed like the Grim Reaper and jumped out and Nate was like, "AH!" and Ike just started cracking up.

I wonder if that moment made Nate question his masculinity at all...I thought I smelled Britney Spears perfume on him!

P.S. - my hair looks so bad today. It's like a bijon frisse got superglued to my head.

**T o N i G h T;;**

Alright, well. I think Nate and I's relationship has just been this whole montage of awkward moments.

WHY DOES AWKWARDNESS FOLLOW ME?! WHYYYYY?!

Yes, I am being melodramatic.

No, I do not care.

And since I know you're probably dying to hear the story (er, even though you're inanimate...), I'm going to be nice and tell it to you.

--

Shane and Nate usually stay at Mitchie's house until 8 or 9. Tonight, though, and Shane and Mitchie and the Gray boys' parents went to dinner, so Nate and I hung out. Well somehow we got onto the topic of the L word.

Not lemon.

Not lesbian.

Not liger (those things are SA-WEET), though.

L-O-V-E.

Love.

"Would you really ever date a fan?" I asked Nate, popping a green grape into my mouth.

"Maybe. A normal one. Not the ones who are freakishly obsessed and know more about me then I know about myself," Nate replied

"The ones with OC3D?"

"What – oh, Obsessive Connect Three Disorder...I can't believe we have our own disorder," Nate laughed a little.

"Yeah it's like...Video Girl Syndrome!" I cried, smirking a little.

"...Caitlyn. If you make one more reference to the Jonas Brothers, I swear on Shane's grave..." Nate said darkly.

"Hey, have you ever met the Jonas Brothers?" I inquired.

"Yeah..."

"Can you set me up with Nick? He's _so _hot. I just want to – " I said, even though it was sort of just to get his goat.

"Cait, NO. Nick was so..."

"So _what_, Nathaniel?"

"No, I'm not introducing you. Besides, would you really want to date a celebrity?" Nate asked. I pondered this for a moment.

"I would, actually. I'd be willing to put in the effort, I think. I mean, I'm friends with you and your brothers, so I can imagine – "

Nate cut me off (RUDE).

"Caity, honestly. Would you want to date someone who wasn't around all the time?"

I just shook me head; "I don't know, Nate. I'd have to really like the person to want to make it work.

_And I really like you, so let's make this work_, was what I wanted to add, but I held my tongue.

Nate smiled at me and I just smiled back a little bit. But it was just weird and awkward, because the whole time I felt like Nate was hiding something.

--

I mean, I've seen Nate looking at me, and there's been the elongated hugs and hand hold holding, but he's never actually come right out and said he likes me. And I haven't said I like him, either...

Sigh.

Being at Mitchie's has been so weird, I swear.

--

**Entry Sixteen: **December 25th, 2008

Well, it's Christmas! :D

And like 5 in the morning. See, I was REALLY excited, so I got up...yeah, I always wake up super early on Christmas. It's a habit.

I felt kind of weird when I woke up, because Celeste and I always wake up early on Christmas and my dad makes us pancakes. And then we open our presents and after that my mom drives us to the beach. Well, I guess that wouldn't ahve happened this year anyway, what with the boat.

My mom and dad aren't really big on Christmas, so spending it on a huge clunker in the middle of a grossly polluted ocean doesn't faze them. That's also why they let me spend two weeks by myself with my best friend. And I'm thinking they felt bad, because Celeste goes EV-ERY-WHERE.

I'm sorry I'm boring.

It's 5 in the morning. I'm tired. An hour ago I was like...on Red Bull.

So tired.

I'm going back to bed.

Good night.

...or should I say "good morning"? o.O"

1:00 PM:

Oh. My Jesus.

_INCEST. IS. HERE._

WHY IS CELESTE HERE, DAMMIT?!

Apparently Mom and Dad sent her.

This sucks. Celeste has been her for an hour, and already she's called Jason an idiot, made a REALLY sexual comment to Landon (ewwwewwwwewwwwwwwwww!), and...some other stuff! This is an emoticon moment.

D:

Plus, we don't get to open our presents until tonight. So I'm DYING to know what everyone got me. I have absolutely no patience.

At least it's raining. If I can't have snow in California, I'll gladly take rain.

See, I have this dream that when I'm older, I'll have this perfect, beautiful white Christmas. I've never actually seen snow...it's pathetic.

Question: you know that old movie, "White Christmas"? Alright, it was shot in LA...so how'd they get the "snow"? Did they use like...powdered detergent or something? Or am I just being a blond?

7:30 PM:

I HATE CELESTE. I hate her. So much.

She told Nate in front of EVERYBODY that I liked him! It's like, "Are you _that _inconsiderate of my feelings?!"

So now I have to hole up in Mitchie's room like a flipping hermit crab.

Mitchie keeps knocking on the door and telling me to come open presents, but I just...Celeste is such a bitch.

And Nate's down there, which is just _awkward_.

God.

This is the WORST Christmas EVER.

The sad part?

This time I'm not being melodramatic.

--

**Katie Says: **OOH DRAMA. D:

Only two more chapters! (: Will Naitlyn get together? Or am I having a sadistic streak, and they'll end up hating each other?

**Please review with more than "so cute/funny" or "i loved it," if you don't want to face the wrath of my sadistic streak!**


	7. USS Piece of Crap

Caitlyn's Diary.  
:)

**Chapter Seven:  
**U.S.S. Piece of Crap

**Entry Seventeen: **December 26th, 2008

According to the 8730467 texts I've gotten already this morning, Celeste is "super sorry, cai, i totes forgot! Srsly, don't be mad at me!"

Can't she be genuine about anything? At all? Celeste has issues with being serious about things, and it's really frustrating.

I mean, what am I supposed to do about Nate? Just say, "Hey, ol' buddy ol' pal, how you doin'?"

I can't do that.

And like

Crap, Mitchie's calling me downstairs. If Incest is down there...

.....................

Oh wow. :D

My hand is like shaking right now...alright, here it is.

:D !!! aklmgp;1!!

--

I ran downstairs, and practiced scowling at Celeste. Because I'm mad at her, and I wasn't going to very well SMILE at her.

Well when I got down there, Nate was sitting on the couch and my heart kind of stopped beating when I first saw him. I'm not kidding, I almost went into cardiac arrest or something.

I was THIS CLOSE to turning around and running back up the stairs, but Mitchie was at the bottom of the stairs, and she looked like she was going to die of some kind of shock.

"Cait," she smiled.

"Michie...what's he doing here?"

"Go talk to him and find out," she shrugged.

I wonder if Mitchie's met my mom and dad, because they have annoyingly vague, sadistic streaks as well.

"Mitchie, this isn't a good – "

"Oh shut up, Cait. Since when am I the confident friend?" Mitchie pushed me toward the living room.

I stumbled into the living room, and there he was. In all of his...Nate Gray-like glory.

"Um, hey Nate," I said awkwardly.

"Caitlyn!" he looked startled, and I couldn't help but laugh a little. And then I remembered that he knew I was completely smitten with him, so I sobered.

"So, did you want to talk?" I said, trying to avoid eye contact. I'm usually really confident, but Nate makes me all...unconfident...does that make sense?

"Yeah, well...alright, Caitlyn, I'm just gonna come right out and say it. I like you. _Like _like," he said nervously.

I froze in place; "...you...you do?"

He relaxed – "Yeah, I do. I think you're beautiful and chill and funny. And when Celeste said that you liked me, I was so weirded out that you actually liked me back that I didn't respond. And I'm sorry. But...yeah. That's it."

"How long have you liked me?"

"Since we were eleven."

"Me too."

"Really?"

"Really."

And then he came near me, and smiled as he pushed my bangs out of my eyes. Slowly – too slowly – he leaned down, and gently pressed his lips to mine.

There weren't fireworks or anything. But I got these monstrous butterflies in my stomach, and I saw stars and my knees got weak.

So. You know. I think that's better than fireworks.

--

I'm Nate Gray's girlfriend.

Finally!

And you know what?

It feels _amazing._

--

**Entry Eighteen: **December 27th, 2008

:) Hey world, I'm Caitlyn, and I'm Nate Gray's girlfriend.

Did you know that? You did? Oh well, just thought you might've forgotten!

Oh, ha, before I forget. I opened my Xmas presents yesterday! People felt like being nice to me this year.

Caitlyn's Xmas Gifts:

-Huge sunglasses with 'Caitlyn J. Gellar' engraved on them (from Shane)  
-Amazing remixing software (from Shane)  
-Ike drew this picture of me and him and Nate at the zoo  
-A really nice corduroy jacket (from Celeste)

And Nate and Mitchie spoiled me this year...a lot.

Mitchie gave me this CD, and I played it, and this song she wrote started to play. And I said, "Mitchie this is beautiful" and she goes, "I wrote it about our friendship."

I mean, how nice was it of her to write a song about our friendship? I couldn't ask for a better Christmas gift.

And then Nate got me (drumroll, please) a MACBOOK.

I'm not even kidding.

**Me:** Nate! These things are really expensive!

**Nate:** Yeah, but I thought you might want something for your new remixing program.

And then I said something else and he laughed, but the important thing in this conversation is that he kissed for the second time.

Oh before I forget, today was amazing.

Nate took me to an indoor skating rink, and even though I broke my butt on the ice a thousand times, it was still fun.

:)

--

**Entry Nineteen: **December 29th, 2008

Mitchie and I had a friend day today. We went to the mall and blew all our money on Hannah Montana wigs and oddly colored nail polish.

'Cause that's how we roll.

OH GUESS WHO WE SAW AT THE MALL?

Landon. And Celeste.

Isn't that weird? Celeste is...and Landon is...not...

I should apologize to Celeste. I mean, she IS sort of the reason Nate and I are together...

I hate being wrong.

Oh, and we also saw this one really mean, condescending girl from the school I used to go to.

Our conversation went something like

**Me:** Oh, hey Rae Anne.

**Rae Anne:** Do I know you?

**Me:** I'm Caitlyn. I used -

**Rae Anne:** Great.

**Mitchie:** ...wow.

**Rae Anne:** -is a bitch-

**Mitchie:** -eyeroll-

**Me:** Well. Bye. Oh, you might want to use some perfume, by the way.

**Rae Anne:** Excuse me? -looks suspicious-

**Me:** You smell like a bitch.

**Rae Anne:** -gasp-

**Me & Mitchie:** -walk away-

:) I really despise her.

_LATERSSS:_

**OHWOW.**

I went into Celeste's room to apologize.

And she was...

Doin' the dirty! With LANDON! Eww! It's like cradle robbing!

(shudder) My eyes burn.

I'm gonna go scrub my eyeballs and try to forget this happened (although that may take years and years of therapy).

_LATER LATERSSS:_

Celeste came in here like ten minutes ago.

...

She apologized and said she really was sorry. So I said I was too.

What bothers me is that when I asked about her and Landon, she just flat-out lied. She said, "No, we're not together. OMG, srsly Cai, I do have SOME standards."

I'm just gonna let it go. She'll tell me...sometime...maybe...eventually...

--

**Entry Twenty: **December 30th, 2008

Do you know what I found stuffed in Mitchie's closet?

_Her song book. _This thing is FILLED with dozens of songs she's written. I put it back, but I'm kind of curious as to why she's hiding her songs from the world...

Oh, I've been e-maling my mom and dad and it sounds like they've been enjoying their little vacation from their hormonal teenage daughters.

On the ship -

Um, do you know what I just realized?

I LIVE ON A CRUISE SHIP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN.

How exactly am I supposed to see Nate? And we have extremely suckish phone reception on the stupid clunker.

Doesn't it just figure that once I finally get to be with Nate, it's only for six days. And then I get to go back to the U.S.S. Piece of Crap, and he'll be like, "Well Cait, it was a fun six days but I'm going on tour soon, and you live on a boat. Kthx."

D:

Emoticon moment...

--

**Katie Says: **Guess that sadistic streak didn't take. :p Naitlyn FINALLY got together. Took 'em long enough, didn't it?

): One more chapter. I'm so sad, I had so much fun writing this fic, and the response was so positive! I'm going to miss all of my readers.

**If you loved the Naitlyn and don't want to me to break them up next chapter, ya best review with more than "so cute," or "i loved it," kthx! xD**


	8. The Whole Shebang

Caitlyn's Diary.  
:)

**Chapter Eight:  
**The Whole Shebang

**Entry Twenty-One: **December 31st, 2008

Went out to dinner with Shane, Nate, Mitchie, and Jason.

Emoticon moment - :D.

--

We went to a really, really nice restaurant. It was called something long and complicated...but yeah, it was a swanky joint. They served escargot. Doesn't that just scream, "I'M FANCY! :D"?

It was all pretty normal until we got the menus. Then I sorta had to mention my worries about the cruise ship, because I have an extremely large, oblong mouth.

"What sounds good to you guys? I'm thinking about...err.." Jason made a face at the menu.

"I'll pick something for you, okay?" Mitchie smiled and Jason breathed a sigh of relief.

Shane's phone went off (his ringtone is so dorky, it's "Do You Know?" by Enrique Iglesias), and he checked the Caller ID. "Oh, crap, it's the label..."

"What the hell do they want? It's New Year's Eve...don't they have families or something?" Nate's eyes continued to scan the menu.

"I have no idea. Sorry, guys, I gotta take it," Shane signed before picking up his phone and exiting. Mitchie and Jason excused themselves to go to the restroom.

"This menu is in Arabic or something," I laughed slightly.

"I know, seriously! Eel? That's so nasty, who orders eel WILLINGLY?" Nade made a face.

"Heck if I know! Hey...Nate, can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?" Nate's brow wrinkled in confusion.

I sighed; "Nate, just...what happens when you go on tour, and I go back to living in the middle of a body of water? I feel like we're sort of setting ourselves up for heartbreak."

Nate's face fell. "Caitlyn, don't do that."

"But how can I _not _do that? I want this to work, but I don't know how it can," I looked down.

"Caity," Nate began, grabbing my hand, "I'm not saying this is going to be really easy, but I want this to work. You make me..._so _happy, and I think I make you happy, too. So don't say things like it can't work. Because if we try, we can do this."

"But - "

"I'll e-mail you every single day. We can call each other sometimes. And maybe I can convince my parents to get us a vacation on the Anne-Margret after our tour," Nate smiled and squeezed my hand gently.

He looked at me from under his eyelashes (can you say SEXY?) and I was putty in his hands.

"Okay," I agreed, "you're right."

"Am I ever wrong?" he teased.

"Jerk," I smirked and leaned in to press my lips to his.

--

After dinner we came here (Mitchie's house) and well...that leads up to now. C:

Steve and Connie and Tom and Leslie (the Gray peeps' momma and daddeh...err, daddeh and momma...Tom would be a weird girl name...) are playing bridge. Jason, Ike, and Celeste are watching Spongebob (I think Jason has a crush on Celeste...he's always looking at her, and he gets SUPER mad whenever her and Landon go off). Shane and Mitchie are eye-sexing on the couch. God, it's so awkward to look at them! They're all:

**Mitchie:** I love you, Shane.

**Shane:** You're so beautiful, Mitchie.

**Mitchie:** -giggle-

**Shane:** -is cute some more-

**Mitchie:** -blush-

But I suppose it's kind of cute. In a sugary sweet kinda way.

And Nate – wait, where is that boy

...

Holy. God.

Nate just jumped from behind the loveseat

**Writing notes AGAIN, Caity?**

You're a jerk! Why'd you just scare me?!

**I felt like it. You looked too content.**

You're not funny.

**Baby, I'm hilarious.**

Oh yeah. Hilarious. Hardy-flipping-har har.

**See? You're laughing!**

Yeahhh. I bet Nick Jonas doesn't scare his girlfriends!

**If you bring up that pansy one more time, I'm never going to kiss you again. Ever.**

AHH OKAY I'LL STOP! Sheesh Nathaniel, no need to get so *JEALOUSSSS*.

**I'm not jealous!**

Oh really?

**Alright. I'm a little jealous. **

Wanna know a secret?

**You know it.**

You're way cooler than Nick Jonas.

**Thanks, Caity. That makes me feel – could Shane and Mitchie be any mushier?**

I highly doubt it. We're not as mushy as them, are we?

_**No one **_**is as mushy as them, C.**

Point taken.

**So, what exactly do you write in this thing?**

What exactly do you THINK I write?

**Girly stuff. Hey where's**

--

**Entry Twenty-Two: **January 1st, 2009

Sorry about the abrupt ending earlier. Nate noticed all of a sudden that Jason and Celeste disappeared.

It was really weird because we asked Ike and he was like, "It's a secret." But they were back within twenty minutes...I don't know, it was weird.

We watched "Dick Clark's Rockin' New Years' Eye"...is Dick Clark even the host anymore? I mean, I feel bad for the guy...I think it's about time for Dick to cash in those pension checks and let Ryan Seacrest do the "rockin'" from now on.

It's like 2 in the morning. Seriously.

Steve and Connie went to bed. And Tom and Leslie crashed in the Torres' guest room.

As of now, Celeste, Jason, and Ike are sleeping on a pile of blankets in the middle of the room, Shane and Mitchie are whispering on the couch (basically, they haven't moved...).

Nate and I are sitting on the love seat. Nate's arm is wrapped around me, and he has his eyes closed.

I think I'm going to join him.

Night.

8:00 AM:

Wow. Wowowowowow. O.O

You know why Jase and Shane and Nate's record label called last night? _BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SIGN MITCHIE! _Apparently she sent them a demo tape secretly or something like a month ago...how crazy is that?! I guess that's what those songs in her closet were for.

**Shane:** (:

**Mitchie: **WTF, why didn't you tell me last night, you jerk?!

**Shane:** It was a weird time. Besides, I wanted this to be the first thing you heard in 2009.

**Mitchie:** -glomp hugs all of us- I can't believe this is really happening!!!

And guess who shall be producing it?

Yeah. ME. Caitlyn Gellar.

Take that to those people who thought I was weird, carrying my laptop everywhere!

I win, bitchez.

...and of course Mitchie does, too! :D WE'RE ALL WINNERRRRRSSSS!!

LMFAO TESS TYLER DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A RECORD DEAL!

Probably because everything that comes out of her mouth are the most _conceited _things I've EVER heard. Ever.

It's so weird that I'm leaving Mitchie's tomorrow. I mean...so much has happened in just a couple of weeks.

But I'm still me. Crazy-as-hell, unwashed fruit eatin', anti-Disney Caitlyn.

Life is good.

Emoticon moment. :)

--

**Entry Twenty-Three: **January 2nd, 2009

It's six in the effing morning. This is too early to be awake (insert headdesk here).

I should be packing the remainder of my stuff, but packing is so...final. Even Celeste is sad about leaving. I guess her and Ike and Jason really hit it off. Which is weird, because I've NEVER seen Celeste act so nice around little kids.

Nate and Shane and Jason are coming over around 8 or 9 to say goodbye. And then I won't get to see them until they get off their tour. Why must life be so cruel?!

AHH, I JUST REMEMBERED.

When I get back on the ship, I have to start going to school with Dragon again.

Shizz.

This sucks.

_ten o'clock am:_

I just said goodbye to Nate and everyone.

I think I'm going to cry...

--

"Bye, guys," I said, wrapping my arms around Shane and Jason.

"Bye, Cait," they both said. Shane and I exchanged a weird, complicated handshake that we learned during his last summer at Camp Rock, and Jason and I hugged more.

"I'm gonna miss you guys so much. And give Ike and your mom and dad hugs for me, okay?" I said.

"Of course. Hey, Cait, I you should go give Loverboy a hug. He looks like he just lost his best friend," Shane remarked, pointing to where Nate stood.

I playfully stuck my tongue out to mask my sadness, and walked over to where Nate stood, glancing down at his feet.

"Hey, Loser," I smiled, reaching out to ruffle his curly hair (because I like his longer hair, even though everyone else calls him a hippie).

"Hey," he smiled sadly at me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my head into the crook of his neck.

"I miss you already, Caitlyn," he breathed.

My heart basically broke at those words. It was strange to like someone so much that you wanted to hurt for them.

"You won't forget me?" I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of his cologne.

"Never," he promised, leaning down to brush his lips against mine.

--

Yeah, basically, I'm crying.

E 1 G H T O ' C L O C K:

We're officially back on the boat.

Mom burst into tears when she saw me, which made me feel kinda good, but yeah, I've been thinking about Nate and Mitchie this whole time pretty much.

I'm gonna miss Mitchie _sooooo _much. And of course the Gray boys are givens.

I'm really thankful to my parents for letting me stay off the ship for so long, though and

...Oh. Freakin'. Hell.

I just remembered that I have to spend more time with Celeste now.

headdeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddesk

Ow.

My forehead hurts now.

I guess it won't be so bad. Maybe she'll tell me about what went down between her and Jason and Landon (she started crying when her and Jason said goodbye...I didn't even see her say bye to Landon, though).

Hey, I just got an e-mail from Nate!!! Emoticon moment: :D

**Email:**

**To: **_.__  
_**From: **_  
_**Subject: **I miss you

_So, Cait._

_I miss you._

_A lot._

_But I wanted to tell you that I did have a great time with you, and I can't wait until I see you again. I can score you tickets to one of our shows in Salinas sometime. _

_Oh God. Ike and Jason are running around Mitchie's house singing to the Jonas Brothers' third album._

_Jason. Plus "Burnin' Up". Equals SCARY._

_Save me!_

_I miss you,  
Nate_

_P.S. - Did I forget to mention that I miss you?_

I really am going to miss that kid.

Do you want to know a secret?

...

I think I love him.

--

**Katie Says: **IT'S OVER!

): I'm depressed now. It seems like just yesterday I came up with this silly idea...

Thanks to all of you reviewers. You're the ones that made all of this possible!

What's in the near future? LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of Christmas oneshots. Lots of Mitchie-centric stuff. Maybe another full-lengther? I'm not sure yet.

**Please review with more than "so cute/funny" or "i loved it," what with it being the end of the story and me having run out of witty retorts. xD**


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